Ukrainian Women Abroad: Olya’s Story of Love, the U.S., Patagonia, and Finding Herself

This interview marks the beginning of a new chapter on my blog — “Ukrainian Women Abroad.”

Each of us has her own journey. Mine, for instance, led me to marry a Brazilian. I met Santiago when I first came to Bali — and trust me, I wasn’t looking for “my own Javier Bardem,” as my girlfriends joked after watching Eat, Pray, Love. And he certainly wasn’t thinking of marrying a Ukrainian woman — for many Brazilians back then, we were all just “Russians.”

But we met — and started building a relationship. Two people from different continents, cultures, and languages who chose to live in a country that’s native to neither of us.

If you ask whether it was difficult, I’d say “no.” But if I look deeper, and reflect on our relationship through the years — then yes, being in a relationship with someone from another country comes with... I won’t call them “problems,” let’s say “challenges” that you learn to face and grow through. Like language — we speak English, though my native language is Ukrainian and his is Portuguese. That alone can make communication tricky sometimes.

And of course, culture. Brazil is on another continent, and many things that are normal for him feel totally foreign to me. Plus, we live in Indonesia. So alongside learning to live with each other, we’ve also had to adapt to a new country, new norms, new people.

Interestingly, two of my closest friends have stories that are very similar: they’re married to foreigners and live in countries that are home to neither of them. We talk a lot, share experiences, advice, and everyday stories.

That’s how I got the idea for this interview series — to ask them what it’s really like to marry a foreigner. What’s amazing about it, and what’s hard? How do you find your purpose in a new country? How do you build a relationship with your partner’s family? How do you make new friends? What stereotypes about Ukrainian women have they encountered? And how has their life changed since the war in Ukraine began?

“Ukrainian Women Abroad” is a series of interviews with women who’ve built their lives in other countries.

And we’re kicking off with the story of a Ukrainian woman from Uzhhorod, who married a foreigner, went through deep inner transformation, built a new life in the U.S., and eventually found herself in Chile — in the heart of Patagonia.

This is an open conversation about love, personal growth, and what it really means to be a Ukrainian woman living abroad today.

Table of Contents

1. My first guest

2. Before It All: Uzhhorod, Divorce, and the Search for Self

3. The Beginning: Síz, Angels, and Facebook

4. Adjusting to Life in the U.S.: A New Country, a New Family, New Challenges

5. Finding Myself Abroad: The Search for Purpose

6. Moving to Chile

7. Learning to Accept Chile: From Resistance to Deep Connection

8. A New Chapter: Inner Work and the Calling to Help Others

9. February 24th, 2022: The Day Everything Changed

10. Ukrainian Women Abroad: How We’re Seen — and Who We Truly Are

11. Dreams, Next Steps, and the Big Question

12. Closing Thoughts

My first guest is my dear friend Olya

Olya

Let me tell you briefly how our friendship began. We were both born and raised in Uzhhorod, even in the same neighborhood. I went to school with her brother — we were classmates. In 7th or 8th grade, our class took a trip to Slovakia, and Andriy, her brother, brought along his younger sister — Olya. We ended up sitting next to each other on the bus and hit it off instantly.

About 15 years after that trip, Andriy married our former classmate Liza, who just happened to be my best friend. That’s when Olya and I started reconnecting — bumping into each other for coffee in town, and I was also one of her customers when she ran the best fabric shop in the city. That’s how our friendship truly began.

To me, friendship is like love: it either exists or it doesn’t. You can’t fake that connection. With Olya, that bond has always been there — even after she got married and moved away, we could go months without speaking, but the moment we got on a call, it was like no time had passed. We’ve only seen each other once in the last 12 years, when she came back to visit Ukraine — but the friendship hasn’t faded, no matter the distance.

Before It All: Uzhhorod, Divorce, and the Search for Self

Hi, Olya! Thank you for being open to sharing your story. So let’s start from the beginning. Can you tell us a bit about your life before you met Síz (short for César)? And by the way, how old were you when you two met?

— I was 29. You know, at the time we met, I was genuinely happy. I loved Uzhhorod, loved my life there. I had lots of friends. Everything was good. But by nature, I’ve always been a bit of an adventurer. Still, back then I had so many limiting beliefs in my head — all these social rules I thought I had to follow. Like, I believed a woman had to get married and have kids before 25. You had to always keep up appearances: look your best, buy the best, live your best — everything had to be perfect. Basically, a life that looked good from the outside. You know how it is in Zakarpattia :)

Haha, oh yes — I totally know :) I had the same ideas as a teen: you had to get married by 25 — that magic number — or you’d be labeled an old maid! Where do you think that came from?

— I was raised in a religious family that followed church traditions pretty closely. So part of it came from there. But honestly, a lot of it came from the Soviet Union. It was a patriarchal system, and that’s where all these rigid gender roles and expectations came from. I’ve always felt like Zakarpattia was its own little country within a country. Because of our location, being near the borders, we had the chance to travel and see more of the world. In the late ’90s, my parents and I would often go to Hungary and Slovakia for our family’s small business. We vacationed in Bulgaria. When I was 18, I traveled to the U.S. for the first time — and instantly felt like it was “my place.” From a young age, I saw that people could live differently. But even with all that, we were still heavily influenced by those old social dogmas. That’s where all the limitations came from.

So… did you end up getting married before 25?

— I did. I got married for the first time at 23. We had a son, and three years later we separated. It was a difficult marriage. When we divorced, I lost all my inner sense of stability. All the illusions I had about “how life is supposed to be” just collapsed.

As I said, I came from a deeply religious family. I always went to church, believed, followed the rules and traditions. After the divorce, I had to find at least some form of support — even if it was external, because I had none left inside. And I found it in church. It gave me something I couldn’t give myself at the time: a sense of stability. I believed that if I skipped church, something bad would happen. But at the same time, I knew I had to keep moving forward.

I started searching for answers I couldn’t find in church: Who are we? Who is God? What are angels? What is spirituality? Who am I? Why am I here?

How did you search for those answers? And did you find them?

— Through books, spiritual conferences, and workshops.

The Beginning: Síz, Angels, and Facebook

So I’m guessing it was during this phase of soul-searching that you met Síz? Tell us about your love story. Did you ever dream of being with a foreign man?

— I never had a goal to date only foreigners or to get married abroad. But at the same time, I always had this feeling that I’d live in another country one day. Wherever I traveled, even as a child, I felt a certain connection with other cultures.

Our story wasn’t a love-at-first-sight fairytale kind of thing. We met twelve years ago — on Facebook. Back then, I was getting a lot of messages from men, but I wasn’t interested in relationships at the time. So when Síz messaged me, my first thought was to politely say I wasn’t interested.

But then he asked, “Do you believe in angels?”And just a week earlier, I’d read a book about angels that totally shifted my worldview. His question hit me. We started talking. We spoke about quantum psychology, and about well-known spiritual teachers and coaches — Donald Walsch, Joe Dispenza, Marianne Williamson, and others. He had seen many of them live, attended their events, and even had signed books. He knew more than I did, and I was fascinated by our conversations.

There was an instant deep spiritual connection between us. That’s how our friendship began — online.

When did you actually meet in person?

— Six months later. He was planning a trip to Europe, just a vacation, and made a stop in Uzhhorod to see me.

How did it go? What did you feel? People usually expect a magical “love at first sight” story here :)

— We all have different ideas of what love is “supposed” to look like. And love can take many forms. For example, with my first husband, we had a very strong physical connection, but no spiritual bond at all. With Síz, it was the opposite — our connection started on a deep spiritual level, as friends.

When he arrived, I was in a “why not?” kind of mindset. There wasn’t any movie-like romance or instant magic. But we had a great time — we laughed a lot, went for walks. I introduced him to my friends and my parents.

Oh, I remember that first time I met him! You invited us girls over for lunch and he cooked real paella for us. It was delicious.

— Yes! Everyone was so impressed by him. He was just… different. He really stood out in Uzhhorod. Wherever he went, he turned heads — partly because of his height (he’s nearly two meters tall!), but also because of his energy and the way he carried himself. You know, back then in Uzhhorod, no one would leave the house with a cup of coffee just to walk around the city — but he did. He’d sit alone in a café writing in his journal or reading a book. That easy, relaxed way of being made him stand out in our small town. For me, it was unusual — but in a very good way.

How did your relationship evolve from there?

— I wasn’t thinking about the future at the time. We didn’t make any big plans or promises. But Síz’s actions showed me that he was serious — both about me and our relationship. He had previously been in a relationship with a Ukrainian woman. And he knew he wanted a partner from Ukraine.

Why Ukraine, specifically?

— Because we’re the most sought-after women in the world :)We know how to do everything — raise children, cook delicious meals, take care of a home. Ukrainian women are beautiful, smart, and hardworking. Sometimes, when Síz and I discuss house or business matters and I confidently say, “This is how it should be,” he looks surprised and asks, “How do you know that?” And I just laugh and say, “Because I’m Ukrainian.” We grew up absorbing all of this — whether in the city or the village — watching how our grandparents ran their households, how our parents hustled to provide for the family after the fall of the Soviet Union. A Ukrainian woman can figure her way out of any situation.

I completely agree with you there :) How long did he stay in Ukraine that time?

— Four weeks. And near the end of his trip, he had already bought his return ticket for his next visit to Ukraine.

Why did you decide to meet again?

— By the end of his first trip, we had become really close. Everyone loved him — especially my parents, which honestly surprised me. That all had an impact on me. I decided to give our relationship a chance. So we met again three months later.

What happened during his second visit?

— The big thing: he proposed. He gave me time to think and invited me to Houston.

You didn’t say “yes” right away?

— No. I went to visit him first. And once I was there, everything clicked into place. We relaxed, laughed a lot, enjoyed our time together. He was in his element — more confident, more at ease. I loved the atmosphere — the people, how they looked and behaved — there was this sense of freedom in everything. It was in Houston that I said yes to the proposal. When I got back home, I started preparing the visa documents for me and my son.

How did things go between Síz and your son?

— They clicked right away. Síz was so kind to him, and Luka quickly grew fond of him. I was divorced, and it’s often said that until the age of seven, a boy can grow up without a father, but after that, he really needs a father figure for balanced development. And Síz and Luka developed a really good relationship. That played a big role in strengthening things between me and Síz — in a very positive way.

Adjusting to Life in the U.S.: A New Country, a New Family, New Challenges

How soon after that did you move to the U.S. permanently?

— About three months later.

What challenges did you face in the beginning of your life together? How was the process of adjusting to each other?

— Everything moved really fast: the move, the wedding, and then I got pregnant. And in the middle of all that, we were still trying to figure each other out — and it wasn’t easy for either of us. Other men were paying attention to me there, and Síz was very jealous. That created tension between us.Plus, there were cultural and mindset differences. It was hard. And of course, what I call the “sensitivity of translation” — we had misunderstandings sometimes, simply because neither of us was a native English speaker.

Wait — English isn’t his first language either? I thought he was from the U.S.?

— He was born in the U.S., but when he was one year old, his adoptive parents moved with him to Ecuador. He spent most of his childhood and teenage years there — and partly in Chile. So his first language was Spanish. At seventeen, he moved back to the States to “make a living” — and stayed there. Eventually, he brought his whole family over, too.That’s why, to avoid miscommunication, we always made a point of checking in — clarifying, asking each other if we really understood what was being said.

How did his family receive you? What’s your relationship like with them?

— Síz has two older daughters from his first marriage. He stays in touch with them. When we lived in the U.S., we met with them and with his other relatives from time to time. We don’t message each other every day, but we have a good relationship. They all welcomed us very warmly.

When did you start to feel a sense of relief?

— The first four years, all my energy went into the family: a small child, cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, spending time with my older son, and so on.After about four years, things got easier — my younger son started preschool, and my older one was completely happy in the U.S. Finally, I had a little more time for myself.

Finding Myself Abroad: The Search for Purpose

You moved to a new country and had to start everything from scratch — what to do, where to work, how to find friends. How did you figure out what you wanted to do in the U.S.?

— When my youngest turned four, I finally had more time to focus on myself. I started looking for something that would feel meaningful, something where I could grow.I took courses in photography and videography. I also enrolled in personal development programs — because all my inner contradictions were still there. I hadn’t found my inner foundation yet — only outer ones.

You’ve mentioned “inner” and “outer” support a few times — what exactly do you mean by that?

— I always had this feeling that no matter what happened, everything would somehow be okay. I had strong faith in God.But I didn’t have an inner foundation.What do I mean by that? It’s your sense of worth — knowing that even if the whole world collapses, you’ll make it through… that you deserve the best.Outer support is when we define ourselves through external things: whether you’re married or not, whether you have kids or not; whether you live in a nice house, drive a fancy car, live in a certain country. Those were my benchmarks — that’s how I measured myself. The better the car, the higher the self-esteem. But inside that “elevated” self-worth, there was no real value. And that was the value I was still searching for.

At the time, I thought of God as something external — far away — and believed that only He could help me. I didn’t realize that God was also a part of me. My outer supports back then were my family, my kids, the country I lived in (the U.S.) — and all of that gave me a boost of confidence. It’s how I identified myself. But that’s not who we truly are.

We’re not what we wear, or how we look, or where we live.We are what we feel about ourselves.And at that point… I didn’t feel much. Because I didn’t really know myself.

Got it. So let’s go back to your path of finding purpose. You took courses — did you start working after that? What were the difficulties?

— My husband and I had different views about what “purpose” looked like for me. For me, life is an adventure — I love trying new things, freedom is very important to me.For Síz, it’s the opposite — the world is a dangerous place. If I go out to do photography, something could happen. He wanted me to stay home — because that was safer. He wanted us to work together, to grow his business.And so… I suppressed some of my desires.

What about friends? Did you and Síz have a shared social circle?

— For Síz, our family is enough. He enjoys spending time and relaxing with us — that’s what makes him happy.I’m the opposite. I’ve always been very social. I had lots of friends.We went to church in Houston, and that’s where I met people who were spiritually close to me. I also connected with a few Ukrainians I met there. We had friendly relationships with some of our neighbors too.But we didn’t really have an active social life.

In our fifth year in the U.S., just when I finally felt like I was in the right place and ready to start working — Síz announced, 'We're moving to Chile.'

Olya with her family

Moving to Chile

Why Chile? Did you know he was planning to move there?

— Yes, I did. I’d already mentioned that until he was 17, Síz lived between two countries — Ecuador and Chile. Even at the beginning of our relationship, he told me that he dreamed of creating an eco-community in Patagonia, Chile. The idea was to bring together families from around the world who wanted to live in an ecologically clean area, grow their own fruits and vegetables, and enjoy a slow-paced life. Electricity would come from solar panels and wind turbines. The settlement would have its own school, kindergarten, small shops.

When he shared this dream with me, I shared mine too — living in a beautiful city in the U.S., where you could feel freedom in the air.

When we were already living in Houston, I would sometimes find myself thanking God while driving — for letting me live in such a beautiful city. That’s how much I loved it.

Your dreams were really different. Why did you agree?

— Yes, very different :) We talked — but we didn’t really hear each other back then.

I said yes because it was his dream. And I believe that people should live out their dreams. If they don’t, those dreams get stuck in the body and turn into apathy, depression. Even if the dream doesn’t play out exactly how you imagined — it still has to be expressed. And I could see it clearly: if he didn’t do it, if we didn’t move — he would fade. And eventually, our relationship would fall apart too.

So in early 2020, we moved to Chile.

Tell me about life in Chile.

Olya & Síz

— When we arrived, my first thought was: “This was a mistake.” Two weeks after we got there, COVID hit — and the lockdown lasted for two years. Chile had one of the strictest quarantines. The only place we were allowed to go was the land we owned, where we were planning to build the project. We had documents to prove we were the owners — so we could go there and walk around.

For the first six months, we lived in a completely empty rental apartment with no furniture. We were waiting on a shipping container with our belongings from the U.S., but because of the pandemic, it didn’t arrive in a month, like we’d planned — it took six.

When we were deciding what to take to Chile and what to leave behind, life was already teaching me — again — to let go of attachment to material things.

We couldn’t bring everything, so we packed only what mattered most. And it hurt. We had just bought many of those things — and had to leave them. It was hard because you start to believe you are those things. That your belongings are part of you. And then suddenly… you have to leave it all behind.  We were already being taught to let go. For Síz, it came easily. For me — not at all.

I didn’t like Chile at all in the beginning. I couldn’t see the beauty. All I saw were flaws. Everything reminded me of Ukraine right after the collapse of the Soviet Union. And the rules — oh my God, they were so annoying.

Like what?

— For example, to get a driver’s license in Chile, it doesn’t matter whether you have a university degree or not — you still have to pass school-level exams. Only after that can you apply for your driver’s license.

Wait — like actual school subjects?

— Yes! Math, biology, etc. Only then can you take the driving test.

That’s actually kind of funny, if you ask me :)

— Yeah, things here can be “fun” like that sometimes.

When I moved to the U.S., I was amazed by how many churches of different denominations there were. People go to services on Sundays — just like back home. But in Chile, you don’t have that kind of variety. Here, people can easily be out working construction or in the fields even on a Sunday.

Learning to Accept Chile: From Resistance to Deep Connection

What helped you adjust to life in Chile?

— I kept working on myself — spiritually. I started looking for God inside of me, not somewhere outside.

Chile

What practices helped you?

— Meditation, energy work, breathwork, learning, movement.

With time, I accepted Chile — and the country accepted me. I developed an energetic connection with the land. The energy here is very strong. I stopped seeing only flaws — they stopped bothering me. I accepted the local way of doing things. Slowly, I began to reclaim my strength — the strength to be myself again. I also made friends with a few Chilean women I met through the school our kids attend.

Did you learn Spanish?

— The Spanish they speak in Chile is very different from the Spanish spoken in Spain or other Latin American countries. I can manage basic things: ordering in restaurants, buying things at the store — but that’s about it.

A New Chapter: Inner Work and the Calling to Help Others

After moving from the U.S., I imagine the same question came back again: What now? How did your journey of self-realization unfold in Chile?

— I started by helping Síz with his Patagonia Farms project. After the lockdown ended, we opened a small hotel (three rooms and four apartments) and a little restaurant. In the beginning, I did everything myself — cooking, cleaning, welcoming guests. Síz focused on finding clients, building the project, and managing the land.

Are you still involved with the hotel?

— We’ve had a housekeeper for a while now who does the cooking and cleaning. You know, at first, I didn’t understand why people travel from all over the world to Patagonia. I couldn’t see what they were coming for. But once I formed a deep connection with the land, I started seeing the beauty around me — and then I understood. Patagonia is considered one of the world’s “Blue Zones,” where people live longer and stay healthy well into old age. The stunning nature, clean food, slow-paced lifestyle, and being part of a community united by a shared vision — like the one we’re building with Patagonia Farms — all of that draws people here from across the globe.

Later, I found an online job in the IT sector. Most of the money I earned went straight into my education across different fields. I’ve studied (and continue to study):

• Quantum psychology

• Family constellations — a therapeutic method that helps uncover and resolve root causes

• Kundalini activation — an energy practice that awakens vital life energy

• Nail standing (a mindfulness technique)

• Personal destiny matrix analysis

Through all of this, I slowly started finding answers to the question: Who am I? And then came a deeper desire — to help others discover more about themselves too.

That’s when I began offering online consultations. First, it was destiny matrix readings and nail standing sessions. Then I added family constellations and Kundalini activation.It wasn’t easy for me to show up publicly online and talk about what I do — it felt like a death of the old me. But I faced the fear. I started speaking up, sharing my story and my work. My first clients were friends, relatives, people I knew. Then, new people started coming — some found me on Instagram, others through word of mouth.

How did Síz react to your new path?

— He saw how much I changed — how it positively affected our relationship. I became stronger, more grounded. So he supported me.

February 24th, 2022: The Day Everything Changed

How did the start of the war on February 24, 2022, impact you and your life?

— When the war began, the most important external support I had — crumbled.

What do you mean by that?

— Ukraine was always the place I could return to. No matter what happened in the world, there was a home waiting for me. And suddenly — war. That home, that sense of safety, was gone. It was devastating. I cried for six months. I started having panic attacks. There was deep pain and resentment. And resentment, at its core, is a grievance against God. I started getting sick.

To pull myself out of that state, in addition to my personal practices, I tried to help in any way I could — supporting my friends’ fundraisers for the army, volunteering, donating.

Before the full-scale invasion, did you have any Russians in your circle?

— Yes. A lot of them were fellow students in the courses I took. We weren’t close, but we were in the same learning spaces. After the war started, I cut off all contact.

In Chile, even before the war, I met a woman named Irina — she had left Russia because she disagreed with Putin’s politics. She supported the Ukrainian army and donated regularly. But I couldn’t bring myself to talk to her. I had a strong aversion toward all of them.

My older son would say, “But Aunt Irina isn’t guilty.” And in my head, I understood. But I couldn’t overcome the feeling.

One day, Irina asked me directly: “Are you avoiding me because I’m Russian?” And I said honestly: “Yes. It’s hard for me.”Now… we do talk. Things are okay.

Ukrainian Women Abroad: How We’re Seen — and Who We Truly Are

What stereotypes about Ukrainian women have you encountered abroad? And do you think any of them are true?

— The negative ones? That we’re proud, arrogant, overly competitive with men. And honestly… in some ways, that’s true. We do want to be the best. I think that stems from the Soviet era, where women had very few rights. The USSR was a patriarchal society. Men held all the power, and the few women who made it had to be incredibly strong to claim their place.

Even though the Soviet Union collapsed over 30 years ago, and women today can build careers and live freely — that deep urge to prove ourselves… still lingers.

There’s another stereotype that really bothers me — the idea that Ukrainian women and Russian women are the same. I always defend Ukrainian women and explain: we are not the same. Different histories, different cultures, different mindsets.

On the positive side — that Ukrainian women are beautiful, great cooks, and able to handle any situation. I completely agree. I admire Ukrainian women deeply and always support them.

Dreams, Next Steps, and the Big Question

What are your plans for the future? Do you see another move ahead?

— I dream of moving to Europe — to be closer to my family. It’s not a plan — it’s a dream.

If you could go back and change anything about the past 12 years — would you?

— No. I wouldn’t change a thing. Everything happened the way it was meant to. It’s been my journey — rising from the ashes. I believe we come into this life with certain lessons to learn. And even if my life had unfolded differently, the lessons would’ve been the same. Only the scenery and the cast of characters would’ve changed.Chile… this land was given to me for transformation.

And the last question: are you happy?

— Yes. Over the past year — since I started my own practice, pushed through my fear, began working with people, and showing up as myself — I am happy. Even though I still live in a country I want to leave, I know with certainty: I will live somewhere else.

Closing Thoughts

This was the very first interview in the Ukrainian Women Abroad series — and it was a special one. Honest, deep, sometimes painful, but so very real. A story of a woman who didn’t just adapt to life abroad — she walked the path of inner transformation and now shares that light with others.

If you enjoyed this story, feel free to share in the comments what resonated with you most.

And if you’re curious to learn more about Olya’s work or want to book a session with her — reach out directly on Instagram: @olga_skyla

Thank you for reading 💛

Yours,

Olya